The Biggest Mistake I Made….. 

My advice to anyone experiencing the loss of a child is to not handle it all alone.For me it seemed like the right thing to do months ago I could not see the purpose of speaking to someone that just didn’t know me or my son from a can of paint. 

I spend a lot of time alone I crochet, read books , try to keep myself focused with my school work, or when all else fails I go to sleep where everything is easier to deal with. I rarely talk to anyone because I don’t want to be a bother everyone has there lives and things that they have to take care of so to get someone to spare five mins to hear me crying or just to talk to I rather just hold everything in and when I feel that I can not , I do cry but no one hears me and no one hardly ever sees. 

All my life I have been very good at keeping everyone at a distance so it doesn’t hurt so bad if something goes wrong. Now faced with the worst pain a mother will ever endure while breath is still in her body I am lost in an abyss of hurt, depression, and pain in how to deal with all this. 

Happy moments for me are far and few 


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